How To Survive a Human Attack:
A Guide for Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Other Movie Monsters
Did you know human attacks account for a staggering 100 percent of premature deaths for witches, swamp monsters, cyborgs, and other supernatural, mutant, and exceptionally large beings?
The past millennia or so has seen not only an uptick in human attacks, but also increasingly indiscriminate victim selection. It is understandable to feel overwhelmed. From renowned preternaturalist K. E. Flann, How to Survive a Human Attack provides critical information at a critical time with chapters specifically tailored to their target audience, including:
· A Zombie’s Guide to Filling the Emptiness and Moving Forward
· First-Time Haunter’s Guide for Ghosts, Spirits, Poltergeists, Specters, and Wraiths
· Self-Training 101 for Werewolves: Sit, Don’t Speak, Stay Alive!
· What’s Happening to My Body?: Radioactive Mutants and the Safety of the Nuclear Family
WRITE ON: Secrets to Crafting Better Stories
STAY THIRSTY PRESS PROUDLY PRESENTS: WRITE ON.
Does your story refuse to begin, refuse to end, or refuse to fulfill its potential? WRITE ON provides guidance for rethinking your approach to writing fiction and nonfiction. With decades of experience teaching at the college level and at over 35 writing conferences, award-winning author Kathy Flann provides illuminating insights and suggestions that every new writer needs, with topics like: Characters Reign Supreme; The Ticking Clock; Suspense vs. Confusion; Moments That Communicate Real Emotion; The Craft of Dialogue; Betraying the Reader; Importance of Voice in Memoir; and, Should Writers Teach.
Perfect for those seeking to become successful, published authors.
Get a Grip
The stories in Get a Grip depict a range of imagined lives. There are Estonian brothers trekking from their blighted neighborhood to a college interview. There’s a TV meteorite hunter in town to search for otherworldly treasure. We meet a widow addicted to physical pain and a successful ad executive who loses all his worldly possessions in one day. All of the characters work out their struggles in the Baltimore region, channeling, in turns, the area’s charm, its despair, its humor, its self-doubt, its compassion. Get a Grip is a book about who we are when the cameras are off and the phone has died.
Winner of the 2014 George Garrett Fiction Prize
Named one of the Best Books of 2015 by Baltimore Magazine
Named one of the Best Baltimore Books of 2015 by the Baltimore City Paper
Winner of National Indie Excellence Award for Best Short Story
Winner of 2016 International Book Award for Fiction: Short Story
Winner of 2016 Best Books Awards for Fiction: Short Story
Short Story- Fiction Finalist- Indie Book Awards 2016
Please welcome Kathy Flann, whose keen eye, quick pencil, and tremendous heart have reached practically everybody in the invented but wholly believable community of Smoky Ordinary, from small to great, the up-and-comers to the down-and-outers, from the woman caring for her dying husband to the man that howls like a dog, from a jaded former United States President to the bird smashed on the grill of his limo. This collection marks the beginning of an original and memorable career.
--Madison Smartt Bell
Dead Inside: Poems & Essays on Zombies
This innovative collection of poetry and creative nonfiction essays tackles the theme of zombies, in general, and The Walking Dead, in particular. The works in this anthology explore the zombie phenomenon as a compelling metaphor for our historical era and contemporary lifestyles.
Features "How to Survive a Human Attack: A Zombie’s Guide to Filling the Emptiness and Moving Forward"
STORIES AVAILABLE ONLINE
Neuropathy, Carve Magazine
On The Charlie Applebaum Stage, The Adirondack Review
El Corazón, The Barcelona Review
A Show of Force, Blackbird
An Airtight Box, Del Sol Review
Somebody for Everybody, The North American Review/Redux
The How to Survive a Human Attack series
"How to Survive a Human Attack: Swamp Monster Makeovers" from Defenestration
"How to Survive a Human Attack: A Mummy's Decree (Papyrus Edition)" from Monkey Bicycle
"How to Be an Agreeable Long-Term Alien Guest" from Points in Case
"How to survive identity theft at Halloween: a guide for witches" for The Baltimore Sun
"Have You Been Subsumed by a Mad Scientist?" The Halloween Compendium of Terror (anthology), published by Robot Butt, 2022.
Contributions to McSweeney's
"I Was Social Distancing Before It Went Mainstream, And It's Early Stuff Was Better"
"For Those About To Rock - Have You Considered All Your Options?"
"Brood X or Gen X?" (with Adam Selbst)
Contributions to Weekly Humorist
"Introducing Sedition, a New Hallmark Greeting Card Line!"
"Introducing “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better!”
"The Daily Mail: Discomfort With Our Centuries-Old Breeding Program a Sign of Poor Breeding"
"An Open Letter to my Future Self For Introducing Our Toddler to 'Whoomp, There It Is' by Tag Team"
"What You Saw Last Night Was a Natural Expression of Love Between Two People With CPAP Machines"
"We Are Flowers, and We’re Here to Melt Your Fucking Face Off"
"How to Live With an Aggressively Comfortable Couch"
“UPDATED: Health Advisories for Outer Space Visitors”
“Urgent! It’s Me, Reality. I’m Trying to Get in Touch With You”
“Zillow Listing for Ted Cruz’s Special Place in Hell”
Contributions to Slackjaw
"The 3 Little Pig Property Brothers"
“Steely Dan Life Hacks: Tips Any Major Dude Will Tell You”
“Kohl’s Said It Was My LAST CHANCE to Save 20% -- now my family is missing”
Contributions to The Belladonna Comedy
"Will You Rate Your Recent Exchange with a Redhead?"
"MLB Legal: Ballpark Protocols for Fans Who Are Unhappy/Don’t Know It"
Contributions to Greener Pastures
"Stop Shushing Me! YOU Shush!: An Editorial Inspired by Tucker Carlson"
"Based on the Compliments People Yell When I Walk My Dog, I Am Killing It!”
Next Door poetry series
"List: The Unexpected Poetry of Nextdoor Digest" (Points in Case)
"The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digent" (TwoFiftyOne)
“The Unexpected Poetry of NextDoor Digest” (Light Poetry Magazine)
Other Humor Items
"Quiz: Parents from Gen X or Brood X?" (Frazzled)
"New Study Suggests “Celtic Punk” Not a Thing" (The Haven)
“Quiz: Reflections on the TV Show Lost or 2020?” (Wry Times)
“Top New Year’s Picks for the Solo Celebrator from the Sharper Mirage Catalog” (Humor Darling)
"K-TEL PRESENTS The Incredible Offers Made to Women in Songs!" (Southern Humanties Review)
"Have You Found Your Perfect Soulmate–Or Your Perfect Sleep Number 360 Smart Bed?" (Little Old Lady Comedy)
“This is a Test of the LAST NERVE Emergency Alert System”(Points in Case)
Contributions to Baltimore Fishbowl
"On the Tenure Clock: A Cautionary Tale"
"Cherry Blossoms, Labradoodles, Each Other: Is Joy a Daily Choice?"
"'Run for Your Life…' – Baltimore Writers Talk Roth’s Retirement"
"Letter to America (from Mouth-Breathing Idiot"
"Most People Are Other People"
Contributions to Baltimore Style Magazine
"I Feel Funny: Humor Writing Tips for Novelists" (SFWA)