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How to Survive a Human Attack
A Guide for Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Other Movie Monsters
Did you know human attacks account for a staggering 100 percent of premature deaths for witches, swamp monsters, cyborgs, and other supernatural, mutant, and exceptionally large beings?
The past millennia or so has seen not only an uptick in human attacks, but also increasingly indiscriminate victim selection. It is understandable to feel overwhelmed. From renowned preternaturalist K. E. Flann, How to Survive a Human Attack provides critical information at a critical time with chapters specifically tailored to their target audience, including:
· A Zombie’s Guide to Filling the Emptiness and Moving Forward
· First-Time Haunter’s Guide for Ghosts, Spirits, Poltergeists, Specters, and Wraiths
· Self-Training 101 for Werewolves: Sit, Don’t Speak, Stay Alive!
· What’s Happening to My Body?: Radioactive Mutants and the Safety of the Nuclear Family
Co-executive producer, The Simpsons
As a cyborg manufactured in 2067 and sent back in time to KILL ALL HUMANS, I found the advice in Flann's book invaluable in blending in with the puzzling society of today. Since reading it, I know not to leak milky fluid when I get aggravated, and I’ve even had moderate success with online dating!
Co-executive producer, The Colbert Report
and The Middle
As a member of the walking undead, nothing ruins my day quite like some yahoo pulping my noggin with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Thank goodness How to Survive a Human Attack is here to help me avoid detection while doggedly roaming the earth seeking the human brains I crave.
There are many laugh-out-loud moments here, and Flann writes with uncanny cleverness. You don’t have to be a cyborg or a lit professor to appreciate her efforts to engage a heretofore unrepresented — and imperiled — audience.
And if we humans ever took a moment for self-reflection, we’d recognize that the number-one cause of death among monsters isn’t a silver bullet or a stake through the heart. It’s us. Movie monsters have found their Erin Brockovich in K.E. Flann.
Drew Gallagher, Washington Independent Review of Books
“How To Survive A Human Attack”, is comedic, compelling, and perfect for any Horror or Science Fiction aficionado. It truly was a fun read and I think anyone who appreciates just about anything monster-related, will as well.
Patti Paultergeist, Nightmare Nostalgia